Any time you are not in joy . . .

It was a normal morning. I was about to shampoo my hair and my arm decided to reach out and pick up a special box that was on the nearby dresser.
It was a broken box with a crack in its shiny turquoise lid (circa 1979), and my mother's handwriting carefully documented the history of its precious contents: a dress for the new baby I'd been carrying all those years ago.
Precious contents
It wasn't a store-bought dress, which I would have the energy to buy now, but an heirloom dress. My grandmother McClure, who was in her 90s, would sew fine cotton that my mother had bought, pieced together a Vogue pattern, and sent it to her retirement center in Chula Vista, California.
Grandma McClure sewed the dress, with a few “inconspicuous” passes through the sewing machine that my mother secretly fixed later, and then she brought the dress to me, on the bedrest so I wouldn't lose this baby, and I embroidered the bodice, sleeves, and bodice. hat. My mother, Macie, used to sew “tattoos”, which is (if you can imagine) thread made into decorations, all by women's hands during the Depression years, before the advent of iPhones.
Then my daughter Haley wore it, then Sarah, Lisa and Michael, my cousins, and my next two children Joe and John. Now Henry, Iris, Orion, and now next week, Sabrina Marie.
One look at the box
So, I took one look at the turquoise box and out came my “joy factor.” My first impulse was to put the box away, because I wanted the pain to stop.
However, as a cardholder (should we have cards?) EBTer, I knew better. What an opportunity moment to know myself better, stop the cortisol flood of my repressed emotions, and maybe raise my set point a little.
Of course, I immediately tried to spare myself from excessive work, and was thinking of doing it later (“always later”), but instead, I used Spiral Up #1, knowing that I would extend its use to a couple minutes, but again, from Very easy to touch and deal with. Note the “get”. It's no fun at first to clear out clutter.
Okay, I'll go up
Here's my spiral, remember I believe in the power of brevity and non-judgement, who knows what very subtle feelings that are just emotional rejection need to be expressed and dealt with.
The situation is. . . I feel bad. My throat is tight, and I feel a little nauseous. I want to get away from this body and my feelings. What I'm most nervous about is… . . I feel bad.
(Notice I didn't say I wanted to get away from my feelings. The topic is very important. If possible, the topic is about what I want to prevent from happening. If my topic is, then I want to get away from my feelings) Feelings, the course will be about “why” I want to Run away and I won't “prove” my real problem, which is that I feel bad.)
(Keep in mind that none of this is rational, but even the irrational “bubbles” from my subconscious help free me from the past and those stress chemicals.)
I feel angry about that. . . My mother died. I feel angry about that. . . I'm too old to have any more children. . . I can't stand it. . . The entire world of my grandparents that I grew up with. . . gold. Well, move on to grief. I feel sad about that. . . I cannot travel to New York and be there for the baptism. . . I feel sad about that. . . They don't need me anymore. . . I feel sad about that. . . My life passes by and I can't see my grandchildren. . . (The feeling of it even faded away). . . I feel afraid of that. . . (Okay, I figured it out).
Why do cycles pop up when you raise your set point
(The problem is that decluttering and rewiring all those five circuits makes it very difficult to do the cycles. We should always be processing our anger and sadness, but if those feelings don't stick to the five or even four circuits, after the grief there is no fear and no guilt, and we go back To brain state 1.)
I feel grateful that John and Anna love me and continue the family tradition. I feel happy that I can show them a way to appreciate their ancestors, and their legacy is love and devotion. I feel secure that I won't completely perish because I can't be there for the baptism. I will get over that. I feel proud that I'm processing my feelings and not just putting the “box” away!
(Now I'm switching to Spiral Up #3, because that's the deep mourning I do. . . .)
Who am I? I am a peace-loving person who tries to model the respect for family and love I grew up with. What challenge am I facing? I have to be there for others even if it's hard. Who do I want to be when I face this challenge? I want to be a force field of love and authenticity.
Take action tool security
(Finally, I'll use the Take Action tool, because it stabilizes me steadily and quickly and moves me forward. I love this tool.)
I expect to be kind to myself, this is a huge loss for me. Think positive and strong. . . I can do that. . . Primary pain? I'm alone. No one can know what this loss means to me. I don't have words for that. Bonus earned? Spirituality. It's a time of extreme joy when the only place I have to go is inside, and that will be a gift to me, as it always is.
Now I can feel my HPA axis, my stress response has shut down, and the tingling in my hands and warmth in my chest are signs of the biochemical blessings that EBT is taking hold.
Hey everyone, you've escalated!
Takeaway from the box
What are ready meals? What is your turquoise box, the one that stimulates a wire or two to prevent your joy? Are you going to put the box away or are you going to give yourself the gift of two or three minutes to experience the gift of life and feel those tingles. . . That warmth. . . That renewed life force that makes your day start bright again.
Now that I've said “goodbye” to stress chemicals, I'll be shampooing my hair with more love and joy. Oh. . . It feels so good!