EBT: Self-actualizing Our Joy Potential
A month ago, my daughter, now grown and with a life of her own, returned to my city, and I was ecstatic. My “circles of joy” burn overtime and inspire me to do things like make pumpkin pie (after all, it's January, not December) and have my husband Walt deliver it to her, along with a bowl of fresh whipped cream.
However, I wonder if ecstasy would have come knocking at my door had I not now removed dozens of “stress circuits” lurking in everyone’s emotional brain, including my own.
I don't think so. My perfectionism circuit will likely be activated, shifting my attention to what's going wrong, and the “I'm not worthy” wire, coupled with my old shame circuit, will fill me with enough self-doubt to make me fight it out or, at least, obsess over it. For all the ways I can ruin this glorious time of renewed closeness.
In a world Emotional brain training (EBT), all thoughts, emotions and behaviors are just circuits, and the ones that cause us stress, we rewire. I've done my fair share of rewiring, fair enough, with the good fortune of having my daughter back in town plus all the rewiring of stress circuits into joy circuits, changing my entire perception of how the world works.
In the past, I was very rational. We all have two types of circuits, the balanced, health-promoting circuits, and the static wiring that sends us spiraling out of control, causing problems in every area of life. Our mission is to notice when we're feeling bad, use the EBT app, and rise to feeling good — with the byproduct of making small but significant progress toward wiring our brains for optimal health and an abundance of the seven rewards of a purposeful life: sanctuary, authenticity, vitality, integrity, intimacy, Spirituality, and freedom.
Now, fun thinking has taken over. I see all those bad and painful experiences in my life stored as stress circuits in my amygdala, not as my “emotional baggage,” but as little joy-filled bags bursting forth, patiently waiting for me to unleash them. The inevitable pain of life is like a potential energy bursting with the opportunity to unleash its power and greatness. Inside me, I have this storehouse of joy.
The question becomes, how much joy can I handle? Is there such a thing as “excessive happiness”? That's a question for another day. For now, it is enough for me to hold onto the image of my entire being as one of potential joy. Instead of being wary of what disaster will emerge in life next, why not imagine that behind every stuffed-up negative emotion and stored wiring of past trauma, we possess a plethora of brain circuits that can't wait to unleash their joy on us?
If I still had my own food circle, the thought of it would send me eating a piece of pie even though my belly was nicely full from lunch. Instead, I can bear to know that contemplating my own potential for joy will have to wait. For now, I will savor joy in the form that comes to me in this moment. This in itself is a joy.