HEALTH

Like Michelle Obama, No, We Ain’t Going

To forever paraphrase First Lady Michelle Obama, sometimes we go up when we go down, even when we really want to go down. Other times, we have to go there. Oh yeah, I went there. She quit her black job. We are there for all the lessons learned from it. Our first hint was when Subscription has been cancelled From the funeral ceremony of former President Jimmy Carter. All living former presidents and their wives attended, except Michelle. Good thing she would have been sitting next to the Trump family if she had gone. In the words of Vice President Kamala Harris: “Nobody wants that.”

When Obama's office sent out a short and sweet press release stating that her husband would attend the inauguration, but she would not, that was all she needed to say and all we needed to hear. There was a big period at the end of the sentence.

Now, I think it's up to our imaginations to speculate as to why she went MIA. Keep guessing. She said what she said – I won't go. the end. Maybe we need to try it when we've had enough.

2024 has been tough on all of us. As we enter this new year, we must shape our priorities and boundaries when it comes to self-care and well-being. By the end of 2024, I was feeling shocked, stressed, and extremely anxious. I was everywhere and said yes to everything. One of my own goals is to believe that the word “no” is a complete sentence.

When she said that, we were tired, we felt politically tense, we were heartbroken, and Black women understood that, and she encouraged us. She didn't owe us the obligatory things we say to people when we don't want to go somewhere or do something. There is no need for “no buts” or “no, ands.”

Now, we can read a lot into this matter. Maybe she's planning to have a migraine and knows she won't be able to. Or maybe she knew the whole Game of Thrones thing would make her sick. It makes me feel sick just thinking about it. Look, this is no longer her black job.

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Now, I will say that I'm going to miss getting one of those glamorous, spotlight-stealing Michelle Obama moments we've all been waiting for. I still think of the last inauguration when she broke the Internet without saying a word — that hair, and Sergio Hudson's burgundy suit. I had forgotten that the Biden family was moving into the White House. I even forgot that Kamala Harris was being sworn in as the first Black and South Asian Vice President. It was all about killing her right there.

Since she left the White House, a lot has changed for her. She's had to adapt to a new normal as a best-selling author, speaker, and executive producer.

It is an empty family that lost its beloved mother in 2024. If you have experienced this kind of loss, you know how difficult it is to get back on your feet.

She was reluctant to get on the campaign trail again, but she was amazing when she came out in support of Vice President Harris, leaving nothing on the platform. She has been a voice for all of us who have been assaulted by racism, sexism and sexism in this country. The weight is heavy.

So, when she said no, without explanation, I took it seriously in my own life. The moment you explain yourself, you've already lost. People will tell you why this is not a good idea. We need to have a line in the sand so we can find our feet in when, where and how we show up. We all need an off-ramp.

The black women I spoke to have moved on, too. We are tired of showing up for a country, a job, or a community that won't show up for us.

There is no cavalry. We are cavalry. It was difficult for us. We have to take care.

This is the perfect time to start evaluating the reasons for your rejection. How many times have you said yes when your whole soul said no? We weren't socialized to say yes to ourselves. Please take a note from Michelle Obama's page: We don't owe anyone an explanation when it comes to self-care. I love it for her and us.

Takeaways move forward.

  • Set your boundaries regarding what matters and how you spend your time.
  • Respect your ability to determine what is appropriate and healthy for you.
  • Give yourself permission to say no, without apology, or yes.
  • Remove yourself from people and places that drain energy and move toward your happiness and healing.



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